Two of my biggest hot buttons are people who don’t keep the agreements they make or slack off when everyone else is pitching in. Anger, retaliation or simply sarcasm make be first emotional reactions yet those reactions tend to make things worse for us all, as you have already discovered. Instead become the most sought-after kind of leader in our increasingly self-organized world: an Opportunity Maker who can attract the right to solve problem or seize an opportunity faster, with and for others. To move into that role a key trait to hone is your capacity to stop others from social loafing on the team.
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